Meet the Ants
Everything you wanted to know about the world’s only 4 man sketch group (other 4 man sketch group are available).
EYES – Shifty
HAT SIZE – Extra large.
AMBITION – Buffet for one. Big spoon.
FACT – Once, at a party, Andy was mistaken for Henry VIII.
FAVOURITE QUOTE - ‘I haven’t lost any weight, but I’m still alive. So… all round, I’m pretty proud of myself’
Elliott on Andy - I remember knowing that I would like Andy before I even met him. I was in the communal kitchen at a theatre in West London and Andy walked in to make himself a cup of tea. He took a small polystyrene cup and dunked three tea bags in it. He turned to us, said ‘Quicker innit!’ and downed it in one. Legend.
HOBBIES – None. Not interested.
AGE – Unknown.
ORIGIN – Jim is a quarter Victorian.
FACT – Carries a briefcase but only keeps a banana in it.
STUPID FACT – Jim once worked in Sainsbury’s for three weeks unpaid. The reasons are too complex to write here.
EMBARRASING FACT – Jimmy has a very sensitive gag reflex. Sometimes we can waste hours and hours creating smells, bearing things and regurgitating things in order to make Jim ‘gip’.
Ben on Jimmy – Jimmy loves cleaning. He cleans everything. He has a cleaner and when she comes round, he cleans her.
HEIGHT – 3 ft 2 ins
HAIR – Awesome
HOBBIES – Stealing jokes from the ‘Two Ronnies’. Growing beards.
FACT – Using three condoms and a plastic bag, he once made a wet suit for a cat.
STUPID BUT TRUE – For a long time Elliott thought that Jimmy Hendrix was a snooker player.
Jimmy On Elliott - Elliott had a gambling addiction for a long time. He and his friend Chris would play a game called ‘darts’. The rules were as follows. First Elliott and Chris would play a game of paper/scissor/stones. The winner of paper/scissor/stones was the winner of ‘darts’. And the winner of ‘darts’ got to throw a dart into the loser’s back.
STRENGTH – Ben is strong!
HEIGHT – Ben stands tall!
STATUS – Ben is your leader!
FACT – Ben insisted on writing his own statistics.
FACT 2 – Ben bloody loves pork products. One day while we were on tour Ben’s lunch consisted of a sausage roll, a pork-and-stuffing sandwich, some pork pie, a Pepperami and a bag of crisps (bacon frazzles).
Andy on Ben - Ben has two sets of clothes. One for summer, one for winter. If it’s sunny and cold he gets confused and stays in.
Ben on Ben - Ben is remarkable.