Interview of Ants
Do you have “proper” jobs?
Jim: Erm excuse me…What is not proper about comedy?
Ben: Jimmy forgets that yesterday we spent the morning wearing plastic ‘rodent noses’ and the afternoon doing impressions of ‘Boicie’ from Only Fools and
Els: The nice thing about being in a comedy sketch group is that you can waste hours and hours being silly with your mates and call it ‘work’.
Andy: And any snacks you eat while your doing it are tax deductible. Yum…tax Pringles.
Quite a lot of your sketches involve manly displays of affection. Do you just love snogging each other or is there something we should know?
Els: There is something you should know…Idiots of Ants are very much in love!
Andy: Plus…whenever Idiots of Ants kiss a tree is planted in the rain forest.
You clearly know each other incredibly well. What bad habits do you have?
Ben: Flatulence is a chronic problem within the IOA camp.
Jim: Our diet is so bad we can clear entire streets when one of us ‘goes off’.
Els: Although it does have its advantages on the busy morning commute.
What are your biggest weaknesses?
When do you feel at your best?
Ben: We love doing a good gig.
Els: It doesn’t matter how many people see us as long as they’ve enjoyed it.
Andy: Also we are in a lucky position where people actually want to see us…which is great.
Jim: Go out, make people laugh and have a pint. Not a bad job at the end of the day.
What did you want to be when you were 12 years old?
Ben: I remember wanting to be a wrestler like Hulk Hogan.
Els: What would your wrestling name have been?
Ben: Big Ben or Ben the Barbarian.
Andy: At that time in my life I just wanted pubic hair, it was all I cared about. I am pleased to tell you all that I now have loads. If any thing I’ve got too much.
Jim: Its true. He’s not allowed to go swimming.
What do you think of last thing at night?
Els: Ladies boobies. Next question.
What did you dream of last night?
Jim: I was in a hotel room with Andy. The snoring was so load that I didn’t sleep.
Ben: It’s crazy how loud it is. It’s like Wooly Mammoth shouting.
Which super power would you like to have and why?
Els: We are like any teenage boy, we don’t mind which super power we end up with, as long as it enables us to see naked ladies.
Jim: I wanted to be able to wear my underpants outside my trousers without looking demented.
Ben: I actually got bitten by a radioactive moth and developed the ability to constantly head butt light bulbs.
Andy: You couldn’t fly?
Ben: No…just the head butting.
If you were a cartoon character, who would it be and why?
Andy: I’d be the little man on the gents toilet door because he gets to hang out in bars all of the time!
Els: Does that mean you’d only get go on dates with the lady symbol?
Andy: Yes…but she’s great. A real laugh.
Do you have any tips to beat the credit crunch?
Ben: Our big tip for saving money is doing interviews in local newspapers in which we encourage the readership to buy us pints when we do gigs in their town…
Jim: Hi everybody! Why not buy ‘idiots of ants’ a pint.
Andy: Just one. We are happy to share it.
Elliott: Or you can stay in and watch some free comedy online at www.idiotsofants.com.
Ben: We are such publicity whores!
Who wouldn’t you mind being stuck in a lift with?
Jim: A lift mechanic, a man who’s reading a book on fixing lifts and a bloke who lectures on ‘the theory of lift mechanics’ at the university of lifts.
What shocking secret can you tell us about yourself?
Els: It depends how easily you get shocked.
Jim: I’m hairy like a monkey, Andy has eleven toes, Ben is a ballet enthusiast.
Ben: Only Russian!
Jim: And Elliott once killed a man.
Els: He was the fifth member of Idiots of Ants…three to go.
What’s the worst that can happen?
Ben: We could all get sent to prison for crimes against comedy.
Els: Unfortunately comedy prison is just as horrible as proper prison.
Jim: Except you only eat custard pies
Andy: And the prison yard is strewn with banana skins and whoopee cushions.
Five star hotel or a tent in the woods?
Ben: Silly question. Hotel. We are not manly or butch. And we’ll have a room with a view please.
Andy: And a trouser press…
Is laughter really the best medicine?
Ben: Of course. That’s why hospitals are so much fun.
Els: Our comedy medicine is so potent that it needs a childproof cap.
Ben: What does that mean?
Els: I don’t know…
Describe Idiots of Ants in one sentence.
Ben: We are a comedy sketch poop.
Ben: Troop! I meant troop! Oh no! I ruined my one sentence.
Interview by Lucy Wood and taken from the Grimsby Telegraph 2009